Vincent Ritter

I find it difficult to express my true emotions when I’m speaking. Messing up, not using the right words. Most times I feel misunderstood. Writing, somehow, feels more natural. I don’t know how I can solve the former… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to.

I’m very emotional inside… but I find it hard to show. I’m more emotional now than I have ever been, since our daughter. Typing just a few words brings tears to my eyes. If I spoke these words, they would not come.

The past few weeks have been edging away at me, layers of my thick skin peeled back. Loosing hope. My words unintentionally hurting people around me. Loved ones especially. My actions seen as selfish and not for the greater common goal. If only there was something where someone could just jump into my mind.

Everything I do is for my family, to ensure a future for my daughter. To not worry, as we have so much in the past. I want to help people from near and far. I don’t know how to say it that makes sense. Lost for words.

Maybe I should stop what I’m doing. Maybe I should not. What needs to change? Is there a need to change? I really don’t know. Something somewhere has to give.

Writing it out seems like a stupid idea, but it’s helping. Only human. A real human.

Family life is hard. Recently I really fucking suck at it...